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Untitled By Anonymous

by Anonymous

It’s not your fault that you had tuberculosis.
It’s not your fault that no one thought much of it.
It’s not your fault that when you got too weak to walk they had to strap you to a bike and carry you a 
          dozen miles through the weeds as your fragile, fleshless bones bruised on the hard metal bars; 
          there was no other way.
It’s not your fault that there was no doctor to see you at the hospital when you arrived.
And it’s not your fault that there was no x-ray, that the laboratory was closed for repairs.
It’s not your fault that the nurse reviewing your chart yelled at you over the whispers of other sick men, 
          “Why didn’t you tell me that you have HIV?” and your wife and son shifted their gazes to the floor.
It might be your fault that you waited so long to come to the hospital;
          but I don’t know if I would have come either.
It’s not your fault that I don’t know what to do when your wife hears that you died last night and 
          collapses into my arms, her sobs muffled in my white coat.
As I stand here silent and helpless, 
          I don’t know who to blame.